Faith, Fear, Facebook and Finances

Today's post is going to be one of those "post as you go" type of blogs.  I have had a bunch of random thoughts running around in my head this morning and I am hoping that by the end of this they will have worked themselves into a coherant group of thoughts. 

I woke up this morning and the main thought that was buzzing in my head was "Faith vs. Fear".  As many (of the thousands and thousand who read this.. lol) of you know I have recently taken a step of faith in my life regarding employment.  I am embarassed to say that I feel it has been a long time since I have stepped out into the realm of faith as I perhaps should have.  Bills, responsibilities and safety took over my thinking and I lost a boldness that was part of who I am and was made to be.  The "practical" became common place in my thinking.  Not that there is a problem with practical as I believe God has given us a brain in our heads to use, but if practical gets in the way of obedience to God then it is problematic.  So hear I am.  Trying to seek out God as I believe He's directed me to step out.  In this step I am feeling a great excitement as I reach out to some amazing people and do what I can do to bless them and be in life with them.  This also excites me as I realize that if God directs there is a need for the ministry of BOAZ in any community so if God called me to move someday this career does not change.  Yet as I feel all this excitement I regret to say that I feel anxiety and fear.  I know I should not, but if I'm honest I do.  The only thing that causes this is the big "F"... finances.  Before you start throwing awesome quotes and Scripture at me, I know.  :P
God is bigger... He has not given me a spirit of fear... He cares for the birds, so He cares for me... If it's the King's will, it's the King's bill... what God wants, God pays for or provides for..

I wrestle with this even as I type it.  I know what I know and yet I still feel what I feel.  I ask myself how this lines up.  Perhaps it doesn't and I need an alignment.. again.  Yet I just take the next step.  I've shared with many over this past year that we need to be a people who when God asks us to step out we do it even though we don't know where our foot may land.  Guess I need to live out what I speak.  So again, here I am. 

One thing I do see happening on an increased level is some amazing conversations where fellow believers challenge me at the core of who I am.  Admittedly I spend too much time on facebook and need to tone it down, but as of late God seems to be redeeming my conversations on fb and people have blessed me with their words as they challenge me with my faith, patience and other areas.  For this I am grateful. 

So as I end this post today I have to admit that I am a bit annoyed that I can't seem to tie it up in a neat little bow as I would like to, but here is where my heart is.  I want to live in the place God wants me to... today and tomorrow and the future will be awesome when they arrive.  I am praying for crazy blessings that I could never accomplish living on my own means.  I want to increase the amount of people (believers and non believers) that I am in community with to bless, challenge and help come to know God better daily.  I want to be an awesome man of God, dad, husband, step dad, brother, servant, and many other things as God leads me.  May my legacy be that I was obedient even if I looked crazy.  ;)

I want to leave this song.  It's by John Waller.  I've been searching through more of his music as I am getting excited about the concert that Jo is putting on in Woodstock and I found this gem.  It speaks to where my heart is.  Yes I have my personal dreams and desires that I would someday like to see, but ulitmately I want to do something so big in this life that if God doesn't show up I'm in trouble. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HiS-Aj2-7U

Blessings all,