So apparently it's that time again. I woke up at 5:00 this morning and could not get back to sleep so instead of fighting it and getting frustrated, I quickly came to realize that this must mean it's time for another blog post. See? I can learn. To be honest, I love starting my day this way as it really helps to get my focus in the right place from the onset of my day. It's just too bad that the day has to start at such an early hour, but I am not God so I will not tell him how to do his job regarding this.
I have to say that God has definitely been speaking to me about refining my focus as of late. In our youth Sunday school class we have been talking about worship and what it is. The past two weeks we've discussed "acts" (the how) of worship and "objects" (the what) of worship and the good things that we make gods (small g) in our lives. One thing that has been impressed on my heart very strongly as of late is that "If the devil can't make you really bad, he will make you really busy." It doesn't matter what it is that we do as long as we can be distracted from what God's best for us is. That definitely applies to me in a lot of areas and it needs correction ASAP.
God has been reminding me of the process that He has. "Seek Him first and He will give us the desires of our heart". So of course I am naturally thinking, "OK God, I'm seeking you. Now where's my Lamborghini?" Not quite. As I seek God, God meets me intimately at my inner most core. As I experience His presence and goodness I fall in love with Him and His ways again. As I fall in love with Him more I want to do what He desires from me because I realize my ways are so minute to the plans that God has for me. As I walk in His ways it becomes that my desires were not really my desires, but a temporary buzz, or high or whatever.
I'm so grateful that God has brought me from a place of distrust, whining, complaining, and being very dependant on another person in a relationship to a place of trust, rejoicing, seeking and being OK with just me and what He has for me. There is a football player in the NFL name Terrell Owens and one of his funnier quotes over the years has been, "I love me some me." Now his angle with this quote was probably from a place of pride and perhaps a touch of arrogance. God has inserted this quote in my head for the purpose of me getting okay with who He has me to be and not counting my worth as who I am with. I spoke in an earlier post about the seasons in my life and in the season of solitude, God has taught me that I am OK because He says that I am ok and I need to be content with life even if that means its just me and Vaughn in it serving Jesus. This Christmas Vaughn and I spent it alone, just the two of us here in the city and only had a couple hours in passing with my mother and her husband. Beyond that we had no Christmas with my family and despite my fears of this being the most sucktastic Christmas ever, it was one of my favorites. What I feared, God made awesome. What I was dreading, God made special.
To be honest I am now in a place where "I love me some me" and who God made me and the ministry that He has called me to. I wake up in the morning and I do not pine (or whine) for what I do not have, but I try my best to say thank you for what I do have and what God has provided.
FYI, we teach our kids "please and thank you" and with God that is backwards. "Come into His house with thanksgiving and enter His courts with praise.." As we approach God let's say thank you for His blessings before we present our laundry list to Him. (side note ended)
Back on topic. It seems that as I've reached that place of contentment and God has said, "Now I can take you to the next level of my blessing" and I am pumped to see what He has in store. (We'll leave it at that)
All in all I hope this made some sense or connected on some level. The long and short is this. God is good, I am grateful and His blessings are unending as we bask in his presence. May we not be so busy that we miss out on what it is He wants to do in and through us. Let's be world changers y'all!!!
Blessings,
Scottie
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